So as a photographer I've run into complications as of late. I purchased a laptop (with it's 20" monitor people think I'm a bit nutty, but at the time it was a desktop replacement and where it has a duo-core 2.0 ghz processor I wasn't worried about the 256 mb video card {GPU} that it had, and I was naive enough to not realize to never ever ever buy ATI let alone ATI Mobility {which are really half of what you think they are, they steal half of their "power" from your ram} but I figured the 4 gigs of ram that I had would make up for the weak video card...again...naive). Wow, that was a bit long. I purchased it at the beginning of last year.
So, in August I was able to get money together and purchase CS3, it had a funny piece of paper taped to it saying that I was eligible for an upgrade. Oh well, whatever, I had the software I wanted right? About a month later I heard about CS4 coming out and got excited, I checked on the upgrade information and it turned out I was going to be getting a free suite upgrade (some guy in the bookstore said I'd probably be getting a flash upgrade or something because there was a new release ove the summer that he didn't think was in the DVD). He was wrong. Very wrong, I got the new toy!
Well, I got the software in October or so, was showing it off at school, even the art department didn't get their copies until a week or two before the end of school, (that little time but they're teaching on it this term, lol) so I was a bit proud of myself. The only issue I had was getting CS4 to actually run, I've mentioned most all of this before but CS4 runs off of the GPU as opposed to it's predecessors which all rans of the CPU(s), so at this point the video card (ram excluded) became very crucial. I wasn't able to utilize it's abilities on my laptop. Right now I have Photoshop open, and it's merging some 84 images into a 3D panoramic.
I cheated.
I was naughty.
The GPU in the laptop/notebook/beast of a machine, is irreplaceable, I can't pull it out and put in something else, and neither can Dell. It's that way with most notebooks, and as such the same with most all all-in-one computers.
I'm not doing this on my notebook/beast of a machine/laptop.
I was naughty.
I did comparison builds, I could make a machine from Mac that would run me around 8 grand, and it would be something I would hate the rest of my life. I could build an awesome nearly 6 grand machine from Dell that matched the specs from the Mac that I'd built. I also did a custom build through newegg.com From them the same machine (exactly the same as the Dell but with better components) would have run me just under 4 grand.
Some time passed by.
The need for it increased.
I tried some more builds.
We sold our microwave.
Turns out the guy we sold it to is a photographer, and we started talking, he told me about slickdeals.net I checked it out, there are some cool things there, but I didn't find anything I really was interested in, though it did take me to the Dell Outlet.
I started looking on the Dell outlet, figuring what I could get by without having, and what types of systems would still be customizable enough that I could get away with buying it now and upgrading it myself later.
Time passed (8 hours?)
I placed an order.
Time passed.
I did a comparison build through a student pricing available with Dell, and checked what the cost would be to make the same system at student pricing. $800 more than I was going to be paying.
Got the desktop today. Got a monitor today, the other one is coming early next week.
Found some toys on my system that I didn't know about.
As I looked under it's skirt I noticed it looked like there were two GPU's, but the system only says there's one. CS4 was saying something funny about a Graphics Accelerator. Turns out that Dell didn't mention, but the system came with a bonus item, a Graphics Accelerator. Now I have an 84 image compilation that made my laptop cry for hours, and I started it less than half an hour ago. Looks like the file is around 2gb in size and nothing has crashed, and nothing has slowed.
Another cool feature. Nvidia has software installed on my system that allows me to overclock my Ram, CPU, GPU, and motherboard. I can also control my fan's speeds manually, and there's 4 sections of LED lights that I can control their color...
I was naughty.
But I can finally utilize features of Photoshop that I wasn't able to use, and I did it all for under $2,500.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Viper not biting anymore?
"The legendary Viper is basically a street-legal race car, with nearly no amenities or creature comforts to speak of, but all the speed one could ever imagine. On the world's most demanding test track -- the Nürburgring, a 12.9-mile circuit in the mountains outside Nürburg, Germany -- the lap record is held by a 2009 Viper ACR, which bests even cars that cost five times as much."
this was an excerpt from this report on 6 car lines that are looking at getting axed (most of them I can't wait to see gone) The link is below
http://autos.yahoo.com/articles/autos_content_landing_pages/844/6-cars-on-death-row/
It's sad to me that the Viper might be going, I don't want it to be gone, there are few cars as beautiful as it. Of course, when it comes to the Hummer H3 (Humvv wanna-b), the Saturn Sky (dirt-cheap roadster from a dirt-cheap company) and most strongly the PT Cruiser (wanna be SUV mixed with a dodge neon engine, dodge stratus frame, old-school {Al Capone era} gangster style body and the kind of engine-power that is only attainable by burning stolen methane gas from mice). It'll be sad to see the Viper go, if/when it goes.
this was an excerpt from this report on 6 car lines that are looking at getting axed (most of them I can't wait to see gone) The link is below
http://autos.yahoo.com/articles/autos_content_landing_pages/844/6-cars-on-death-row/
It's sad to me that the Viper might be going, I don't want it to be gone, there are few cars as beautiful as it. Of course, when it comes to the Hummer H3 (Humvv wanna-b), the Saturn Sky (dirt-cheap roadster from a dirt-cheap company) and most strongly the PT Cruiser (wanna be SUV mixed with a dodge neon engine, dodge stratus frame, old-school {Al Capone era} gangster style body and the kind of engine-power that is only attainable by burning stolen methane gas from mice). It'll be sad to see the Viper go, if/when it goes.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Insanity trying to fix what isn't really broken
This is an excerpt from this web-posting, I found it on yahoo, it was one of their 4 news-spots on their main page (constantly changing so that's why I included the link)...
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090113/ap_on_re_au_an/as_australia_rabbit_infestation
BANGKOK, Thailand – It seemed like a good idea at the time: Remove all the feral cats from a famous Australian island to save the native seabirds.
But the decision to eradicate the felines from Macquarie island allowed the rabbit population to explode and, in turn, destroy much of its fragile vegetation that birds depend on for cover, researchers said Tuesday.
Removing the cats from Macquarie "caused environmental devastation" that will cost authorities 24 million Australian dollars ($16.2 million) to remedy, Dana Bergstrom of the Australian Antarctic Division and her colleagues wrote in the British Ecological Society's Journal of Applied Ecology.
"Our study shows that between 2000 and 2007, there has been widespread ecosystem devastation and decades of conservation effort compromised," Bergstrom said in a statement.
The unintended consequences of the cat-removal project show the dangers of meddling with an ecosystem — even with the best of intentions — without thinking long and hard, the study said.
Ok, so that's from the top of the news. Basically, it seems like a great over-sight on the part of those who removed the feral cats, but what's insanely idiodic is that to fix the problem they're looking at expensive ways to fix it, rather than introducing 2 very cheap options. Hunters, thereby removing the rabbits, adding a little influx of rabbit fur and rabbit meat into the market, or cheap option 2, re-introducing the feral cats, taking them from animal shelters where they might otherwise be put to sleep.
It could be so much cheaper. But no, the economy is weak, so lets waste 16 million (US) dollars.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090113/ap_on_re_au_an/as_australia_rabbit_infestation
BANGKOK, Thailand – It seemed like a good idea at the time: Remove all the feral cats from a famous Australian island to save the native seabirds.
But the decision to eradicate the felines from Macquarie island allowed the rabbit population to explode and, in turn, destroy much of its fragile vegetation that birds depend on for cover, researchers said Tuesday.
Removing the cats from Macquarie "caused environmental devastation" that will cost authorities 24 million Australian dollars ($16.2 million) to remedy, Dana Bergstrom of the Australian Antarctic Division and her colleagues wrote in the British Ecological Society's Journal of Applied Ecology.
"Our study shows that between 2000 and 2007, there has been widespread ecosystem devastation and decades of conservation effort compromised," Bergstrom said in a statement.
The unintended consequences of the cat-removal project show the dangers of meddling with an ecosystem — even with the best of intentions — without thinking long and hard, the study said.
Ok, so that's from the top of the news. Basically, it seems like a great over-sight on the part of those who removed the feral cats, but what's insanely idiodic is that to fix the problem they're looking at expensive ways to fix it, rather than introducing 2 very cheap options. Hunters, thereby removing the rabbits, adding a little influx of rabbit fur and rabbit meat into the market, or cheap option 2, re-introducing the feral cats, taking them from animal shelters where they might otherwise be put to sleep.
It could be so much cheaper. But no, the economy is weak, so lets waste 16 million (US) dollars.
Friday, January 9, 2009
hahahaha you can't read this and not smile, and nod that some of these have, or currently do, apply directly to, You!
Rules of the Universe
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
6. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important.. Pay attention! It never fails.)
7. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
8. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip..
9. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
10. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good..
11. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
12. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. Embrace your differences. Love each other.
13. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
14. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
15. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
16. Opportunities always look bigger after they have passed.
17. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
18. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
19. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
20. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
21. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
22. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
23. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
24. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.'
25. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them..
26. You should not confuse your career with your life.
27. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
28. Never lick a steak knife.
29. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
30. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
31. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
32. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
33. Your friends love you anyway.
34. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
35. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
6. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important.. Pay attention! It never fails.)
7. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
8. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip..
9. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
10. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good..
11. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
12. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. Embrace your differences. Love each other.
13. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
14. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
15. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
16. Opportunities always look bigger after they have passed.
17. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
18. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
19. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
20. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
21. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
22. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
23. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
24. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.'
25. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them..
26. You should not confuse your career with your life.
27. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
28. Never lick a steak knife.
29. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
30. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
31. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
32. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
33. Your friends love you anyway.
34. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
35. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
PriMerica
I saw a sign, or a decorated car, or something for it the other day. The funny thing is that a couple days before I met someone who offered me a job. Found out today, when I went to the interview, that that's the company I was interviewing for. The funny thing, I really don't have any information on who they Really are, so I'm perplexed.
The interview went well, I have an open job offer, I just need to pull together $99 (one time) fee for a background check as well as the materials for prepping for and acquiring a state license. I could work 10-15 hours a week, working in the evening hours as that's when I have time, going to people who've asked to meet with us, entirely referral based. Working that little I was told I could earn 2-3 thousand a month. Compared to the 600 I've been making a month it's very very lucrative as either replacement or supplemental.
I have a funny feeling about it though, and I can't shake it. I don't know why. We were going to go up to a meeting about it tonight, the weather closed in and we didn't make it. Oh well, anyone who has some info on this group I'd appreciate info.
I know they're a part of Citi-Group, as I recall their (citi-groups') CEO took over a hundred million bucks this last year as a bonus even though they were declaring bankruptcy. Maybe that's part of why I'm having issues with them.
The interview went well, I have an open job offer, I just need to pull together $99 (one time) fee for a background check as well as the materials for prepping for and acquiring a state license. I could work 10-15 hours a week, working in the evening hours as that's when I have time, going to people who've asked to meet with us, entirely referral based. Working that little I was told I could earn 2-3 thousand a month. Compared to the 600 I've been making a month it's very very lucrative as either replacement or supplemental.
I have a funny feeling about it though, and I can't shake it. I don't know why. We were going to go up to a meeting about it tonight, the weather closed in and we didn't make it. Oh well, anyone who has some info on this group I'd appreciate info.
I know they're a part of Citi-Group, as I recall their (citi-groups') CEO took over a hundred million bucks this last year as a bonus even though they were declaring bankruptcy. Maybe that's part of why I'm having issues with them.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Brickfish
Hey all;
I've put a bunch more posts up on my Brickfish site, entering some 5 or 6 more images for contests. Give it a peek, give a vote, leave a review.
Honestly though, if you leave me a review it gives input that is greatly needed, so really, please do leave some feedback.
http://www.brickfish.com/fotoneurotic
on the right hand side you'll see my current entries.
I've put a bunch more posts up on my Brickfish site, entering some 5 or 6 more images for contests. Give it a peek, give a vote, leave a review.
Honestly though, if you leave me a review it gives input that is greatly needed, so really, please do leave some feedback.
http://www.brickfish.com/fotoneurotic
on the right hand side you'll see my current entries.
"I think some idiots must live here" ~Achmed
So, the school I'm attending. They do funny things. They used to have it available that students could change their degree through their online access to their profile at the school. It was really nice.
Now I've run into an issue where I can't. It wouldn't be an issue except that I've hit my max credits for an associates program while receiving financial aid. I can either appeal it, or matriculate. I want to matriculate. Unfortunately no one can help me except for my academic advisor, who wasn't available to reach today. Fortunately I'll be able to get in tomorrow. The funny thing is had they told me two weeks I could have the money already applied to my account and have no stress on my shoulders about if the money was going to come through or not. Furthermore I wouldn't have stress if I was going to get money in time to get the books that I need for my classes. Yay for idiots. They surround us all.
Now I've run into an issue where I can't. It wouldn't be an issue except that I've hit my max credits for an associates program while receiving financial aid. I can either appeal it, or matriculate. I want to matriculate. Unfortunately no one can help me except for my academic advisor, who wasn't available to reach today. Fortunately I'll be able to get in tomorrow. The funny thing is had they told me two weeks I could have the money already applied to my account and have no stress on my shoulders about if the money was going to come through or not. Furthermore I wouldn't have stress if I was going to get money in time to get the books that I need for my classes. Yay for idiots. They surround us all.
trust and faith in each other
I was thinking tonight. As I was waiting for my wife to fall asleep, so I could then snuggle in and not wake her or keep her from sleeping via my snoring. Frequently in the LDS faith we refer to a husband and wife as being in a relationship triangle with diety, and how to grow closer to one in an eternal sense you must also grow closer to the other. It dawned on me, that the type of growth is across "all the fields" if you will.
Faith in Christ leads to salvation, as it's your faith in Him that leads to your acting upon your beliefs, knowledge, and faith. How can a person possibly grow closer to God in their faith without also increasing in their faith in their eternal companion.
When I first was married I wasn't able, capable, of allowing my wife to take care of our finances. I was so afraid she'd flub it up. Well, eventually I allowed her to (she was really persistent), and the first time she missed paying a bill I flipped my lid. :( I thought it was a sign of how right I was, and how dare I allow someone else to manage my finances, I was the one making All the money.
Well, she still takes care of our finances, and in the past year she's not missed a bill, we've missed some pre-pays (paying a week or so early, allowing you to not pay the extra required to electronically pay some bills the day or three days prior to their due date...) but since then we've not missed one bill. She's done very good. So good in fact, that for a while there we were a month and a half ahead of our bills. In the time we'd been married I'd never had us more than a week or two ahead, but somehow with No accounting experience, no budgeting practice and had not only figured out how to pay everything, but also how to get ahead of our bills enough so when she lost her job at the start of december she had us taken care of through nearly the end of january. With my (now very minimal, she became the bread winner as I started last term and went to a part-time job) income we're still able to get food, and take care of our personal needs. On top of that all, we were able to get some food-storage put together while she was managing our finances, allowing us to focus our money on fresh produce and using our food-storage along with it.
I'll be the first to admit (though you can likely tell from what I've said so far) that I had much less faith in her in the beginning than I should have. Having had no experience with what her abilities could be it was difficult to have faith in that aspect. Now, I see her wonderous possibilities and know that with her our finances will always be secure, I don't need to worry when she's in charge of them.
Now our faith is being challenged again as she's trying to find a job. Some times it seems that frustration and despair frequently knock on our door, begging us to let them in. In my heart, I see, and feel, know..., that we will be taken care of, that there's something in store, but the time isn't right for the other party yet, though it will be, soon.
There is nothing that a person can't do, if they believe in themself, and surround themself with persons who believe in them as well.
Faith in Christ leads to salvation, as it's your faith in Him that leads to your acting upon your beliefs, knowledge, and faith. How can a person possibly grow closer to God in their faith without also increasing in their faith in their eternal companion.
When I first was married I wasn't able, capable, of allowing my wife to take care of our finances. I was so afraid she'd flub it up. Well, eventually I allowed her to (she was really persistent), and the first time she missed paying a bill I flipped my lid. :( I thought it was a sign of how right I was, and how dare I allow someone else to manage my finances, I was the one making All the money.
Well, she still takes care of our finances, and in the past year she's not missed a bill, we've missed some pre-pays (paying a week or so early, allowing you to not pay the extra required to electronically pay some bills the day or three days prior to their due date...) but since then we've not missed one bill. She's done very good. So good in fact, that for a while there we were a month and a half ahead of our bills. In the time we'd been married I'd never had us more than a week or two ahead, but somehow with No accounting experience, no budgeting practice and had not only figured out how to pay everything, but also how to get ahead of our bills enough so when she lost her job at the start of december she had us taken care of through nearly the end of january. With my (now very minimal, she became the bread winner as I started last term and went to a part-time job) income we're still able to get food, and take care of our personal needs. On top of that all, we were able to get some food-storage put together while she was managing our finances, allowing us to focus our money on fresh produce and using our food-storage along with it.
I'll be the first to admit (though you can likely tell from what I've said so far) that I had much less faith in her in the beginning than I should have. Having had no experience with what her abilities could be it was difficult to have faith in that aspect. Now, I see her wonderous possibilities and know that with her our finances will always be secure, I don't need to worry when she's in charge of them.
Now our faith is being challenged again as she's trying to find a job. Some times it seems that frustration and despair frequently knock on our door, begging us to let them in. In my heart, I see, and feel, know..., that we will be taken care of, that there's something in store, but the time isn't right for the other party yet, though it will be, soon.
There is nothing that a person can't do, if they believe in themself, and surround themself with persons who believe in them as well.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Memories
I have a song stuck in my head. It goes by the tune "Oh my darlin" (you know, oh my darlin oh my darlin of my darlin clementine...oh course why someone wrote a song about a fruit seems a bit nutty to me). The song is something I believe is from the Girlscouts, it's "Found a peanut". Ok, I should say both songs have been stuck in my head and as the verses play inside my mind they switch from being about a fruit to being about the peanut. It's kinda funny some times how it ends up being a love song to a rotten peanut.
When I was little my family was planning a long trip, I think it was a roadtrip to Disneyland. In our preparations for this trip my mom had us come up with something that we could do while we were on the drive, so as to not go completely insane. Well, as it would turn out one of the things we decided to do was to write extra verses to "found a peanut". It was marvelous by the time we were done. It must have had an extra ten verses when we were finished, or maybe we'd gotten it so that it now had ten verses, either way it was much longer than it had been previously.
I seem to remember that we completely forgot the papers that had the words to the song, some time down the road it was brought up, and we didn't have them. Perhaps it was mom knowing that she would go insane if she had to hear it one more time, or maybe she was thinking of dad knowing he would go insane while we were singing it, there's always the chance that it was completely forgotten by accident by everyone as well. Either way I don't recall us having the words we'd written, though I think we may have tried to sing it anyway, at least once.
There was something about it. Not so much when we were singing it in the car, but when we were putting it together at home, working together on the words, trying to keep it funny and yet prolong the song for greater duration than it's original verse(s) allowed, there was something about doing all that that made it a fun memory, it's something I enjoy having stuck in my head. For as much as I usually don't enjoy having songs stuck in my head, the associations with this one make it enjoyable.
When I was little my family was planning a long trip, I think it was a roadtrip to Disneyland. In our preparations for this trip my mom had us come up with something that we could do while we were on the drive, so as to not go completely insane. Well, as it would turn out one of the things we decided to do was to write extra verses to "found a peanut". It was marvelous by the time we were done. It must have had an extra ten verses when we were finished, or maybe we'd gotten it so that it now had ten verses, either way it was much longer than it had been previously.
I seem to remember that we completely forgot the papers that had the words to the song, some time down the road it was brought up, and we didn't have them. Perhaps it was mom knowing that she would go insane if she had to hear it one more time, or maybe she was thinking of dad knowing he would go insane while we were singing it, there's always the chance that it was completely forgotten by accident by everyone as well. Either way I don't recall us having the words we'd written, though I think we may have tried to sing it anyway, at least once.
There was something about it. Not so much when we were singing it in the car, but when we were putting it together at home, working together on the words, trying to keep it funny and yet prolong the song for greater duration than it's original verse(s) allowed, there was something about doing all that that made it a fun memory, it's something I enjoy having stuck in my head. For as much as I usually don't enjoy having songs stuck in my head, the associations with this one make it enjoyable.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Obstacles
For me there was a time when it used to be playing WarCraft3. I would stay up into the midnight hours playing and playing in efforts to feel tired, feel fulfilled, and to have completely avoided whatever it was I was trying to hide from.
There were other times when it was homework.
Other times still it was work. (ProPix anyone?)
I think there are things we all hide from. Change is a big one. People don't seem to like that one. Like how it's now around 0 degrees outside, I don't like the change from the 40's that it was at today and yesterday to the 0 it is now. Now I'm hiding inside a nice warm house, much warmer than the chilly air outside.
I'll not lie, there have been times when I've hid from things through the use of game systems, or rather, a game system, the Xbox (or it's revised younger brother, the Xbox 360).
Sure some times the things being hidden from are family, or homework, or religous responsibilities, civic duties, personal hygeine (like flossing twice a day every day, or once for that matter, it hurts!).
Surely I'm not alone in these matters. In fact, I can personally guarantee countless hundreds of thousands who live this every day, and will for most of their lives.
I was watching a movie. It made me question why we hide from these things, these changes we face, and/or the responsibilities of civic, personal, and familial origins. It talked about taking baby-steps into the changes and challenges we face in our lives.
I realized that facing things is called responsibility. I wish I had a better word than "things" but they take so many faces it's difficult to call a plethora of possibilities anything other than things. So keep in mind when I say things I'm referring to these challenges, duties, responsibilities, options, choices, that are available to any given person on any given day. Not facing these "things" is called irresponsibility.
The funny thing.
Most of them aren't that hard.
Most of the time conquering the issue leaves you feeling more whole and complete. Feeling good.
If I were to set a particular "new year resolution" it would be to get over my "things" that I hide from, whatever they may be and by so doing: to move on in my art, to better my relationship with my family, friends, and wife, and to get my body back into better shape like I've been meaning to for the last 5 years.
An observation in closing.
Memories are a funny thing. They get the best of you. Some times they're held in the most inconspicuous places, and others (like journals, blogs, etc) they are much more apparent and obvious to everyone. When Sister was moving her room downstairs I was helping dad to move his office out of that bedroom. In a few short months he'd covered the walls, the floors, the desks, with everything. There was "stuff" all over the place, just like there's been stuff all over his desk and things, for, well, as long as I can remember. It was really hard for him to get rid of some of the stuff, some things are very near and dear to his heart. Like a broken lamp. It was made by the one of my brothers, the woodsy slave-driver type ;) and he gave it to dad, whether he made it with him in mind or needed a father's day present and it happened to be handy I really don't know. It broke but dad fixed it, ish, and it's been on his desk ever since. It brings so much joy to him though, who it came from, the love that was put into it when it was made, and he can't get rid of it even though it's not the greatest, and very obviously has been repaired.
I began to realize how many things dad has connections to. How much joy he has in the memories of the objects, they're representational to him of events, memories, experiences. So when he was packing up it was difficult for him. I can relate. I had to pack all my crap up out of that room not a year before when my wife and I had gotten married and I finally moved out. There are so many memories that I had that I relived as I put things away and prepared to move out. It took weeks for me to pack up. One suburban load took almost everything I had, even though it took me so long to pack everything up. I remember crying. A lot, and many times, knowing that things wouldn't ever be the same way that they were, knowing that the memories would carry with me in the objects, but I was leaving the location where they were made. It was very difficult. I think dad relives experiences in much the same way. Though, I think for him it's a more regular thing, and he has more memories to relive.
It's funny. He has an astounding memory for someone who can't keep a name straight... ;) I think a lot of times he isn't given credit to the amount that he deserves. Part of it might be that he's non-confrontational. Which isn't a bad thing, if the person who is working with him is willing to be patient in helping him to feel comfortable to release the information. In the past couple years he's been opening up more and more to me, perhaps it's because I'm older, maybe it's because I started asking questions and waited for him to respond (some times silencing others who may have chimed in to respond for him) and I have begun to realize how similar I am to him in so many ways. See, my wife some times will want a response from me, but she pressures so much, so frequently, that right when I'm ready to respond she pressures again, I feel uncomfortable, and clam up, not wanting to share as I feel I'm being attacked. We've come a long way with that, it's not nearly what it was a year ago, and we communicate much much better in so many ways it's not even funny. Relating my experience to my father's however, I begin to wonder if he isn't responding in the same way that I was, clamming up and turning inwards when he felt pressured or "attacked", obviously compounding the problem but not feeling "safe" to be able to speak and shortly shutting-down on the person.
Maybe my father looks inward like I do, maybe he doesn't. I like to think. I like to think about my behaviour (the u in behavioUr is deliberate, it's more coloUrful), the reactions people give to my behaviour, their responses, my own personal feelings toward how I handle situations. I don't know why I think about things, mulling things over and over trying to understand them better. I blame that for my opinions of Love, and what Love really is, frequently I find people asking me about love, and other things, and being surprised by my responses (maybe it's because of the blonde hair, though one sibling seems to feel it's brown {it's getting there, sadly}) but I think it's the side of me that analyzes things, for whatever reason, it's part of me.
There were other times when it was homework.
Other times still it was work. (ProPix anyone?)
I think there are things we all hide from. Change is a big one. People don't seem to like that one. Like how it's now around 0 degrees outside, I don't like the change from the 40's that it was at today and yesterday to the 0 it is now. Now I'm hiding inside a nice warm house, much warmer than the chilly air outside.
I'll not lie, there have been times when I've hid from things through the use of game systems, or rather, a game system, the Xbox (or it's revised younger brother, the Xbox 360).
Sure some times the things being hidden from are family, or homework, or religous responsibilities, civic duties, personal hygeine (like flossing twice a day every day, or once for that matter, it hurts!).
Surely I'm not alone in these matters. In fact, I can personally guarantee countless hundreds of thousands who live this every day, and will for most of their lives.
I was watching a movie. It made me question why we hide from these things, these changes we face, and/or the responsibilities of civic, personal, and familial origins. It talked about taking baby-steps into the changes and challenges we face in our lives.
I realized that facing things is called responsibility. I wish I had a better word than "things" but they take so many faces it's difficult to call a plethora of possibilities anything other than things. So keep in mind when I say things I'm referring to these challenges, duties, responsibilities, options, choices, that are available to any given person on any given day. Not facing these "things" is called irresponsibility.
The funny thing.
Most of them aren't that hard.
Most of the time conquering the issue leaves you feeling more whole and complete. Feeling good.
If I were to set a particular "new year resolution" it would be to get over my "things" that I hide from, whatever they may be and by so doing: to move on in my art, to better my relationship with my family, friends, and wife, and to get my body back into better shape like I've been meaning to for the last 5 years.
An observation in closing.
Memories are a funny thing. They get the best of you. Some times they're held in the most inconspicuous places, and others (like journals, blogs, etc) they are much more apparent and obvious to everyone. When Sister was moving her room downstairs I was helping dad to move his office out of that bedroom. In a few short months he'd covered the walls, the floors, the desks, with everything. There was "stuff" all over the place, just like there's been stuff all over his desk and things, for, well, as long as I can remember. It was really hard for him to get rid of some of the stuff, some things are very near and dear to his heart. Like a broken lamp. It was made by the one of my brothers, the woodsy slave-driver type ;) and he gave it to dad, whether he made it with him in mind or needed a father's day present and it happened to be handy I really don't know. It broke but dad fixed it, ish, and it's been on his desk ever since. It brings so much joy to him though, who it came from, the love that was put into it when it was made, and he can't get rid of it even though it's not the greatest, and very obviously has been repaired.
I began to realize how many things dad has connections to. How much joy he has in the memories of the objects, they're representational to him of events, memories, experiences. So when he was packing up it was difficult for him. I can relate. I had to pack all my crap up out of that room not a year before when my wife and I had gotten married and I finally moved out. There are so many memories that I had that I relived as I put things away and prepared to move out. It took weeks for me to pack up. One suburban load took almost everything I had, even though it took me so long to pack everything up. I remember crying. A lot, and many times, knowing that things wouldn't ever be the same way that they were, knowing that the memories would carry with me in the objects, but I was leaving the location where they were made. It was very difficult. I think dad relives experiences in much the same way. Though, I think for him it's a more regular thing, and he has more memories to relive.
It's funny. He has an astounding memory for someone who can't keep a name straight... ;) I think a lot of times he isn't given credit to the amount that he deserves. Part of it might be that he's non-confrontational. Which isn't a bad thing, if the person who is working with him is willing to be patient in helping him to feel comfortable to release the information. In the past couple years he's been opening up more and more to me, perhaps it's because I'm older, maybe it's because I started asking questions and waited for him to respond (some times silencing others who may have chimed in to respond for him) and I have begun to realize how similar I am to him in so many ways. See, my wife some times will want a response from me, but she pressures so much, so frequently, that right when I'm ready to respond she pressures again, I feel uncomfortable, and clam up, not wanting to share as I feel I'm being attacked. We've come a long way with that, it's not nearly what it was a year ago, and we communicate much much better in so many ways it's not even funny. Relating my experience to my father's however, I begin to wonder if he isn't responding in the same way that I was, clamming up and turning inwards when he felt pressured or "attacked", obviously compounding the problem but not feeling "safe" to be able to speak and shortly shutting-down on the person.
Maybe my father looks inward like I do, maybe he doesn't. I like to think. I like to think about my behaviour (the u in behavioUr is deliberate, it's more coloUrful), the reactions people give to my behaviour, their responses, my own personal feelings toward how I handle situations. I don't know why I think about things, mulling things over and over trying to understand them better. I blame that for my opinions of Love, and what Love really is, frequently I find people asking me about love, and other things, and being surprised by my responses (maybe it's because of the blonde hair, though one sibling seems to feel it's brown {it's getting there, sadly}) but I think it's the side of me that analyzes things, for whatever reason, it's part of me.
Friday, January 2, 2009
15 idiots from congress
So, congress wants to make up for our driving habits. Seems our cutting back on driving has caused a fund shortage for our road repairs, and building. They want to raise the federal tax by up to 50%. They're urging states to raise their rates too. I don't know if you've looked at how much you pay per gallon before, but in states like Utah and New York, in fact, most other states that I've paid attention to it in, you're paying around 50 cents a gallon for state, city and federal taxes on your gas. To top it all, in a weakened economy these people are wanting to not only increase this tax, but to tie it to inflation, so as we start paying more for everthing else, we start paying more for it too!
How about this.
We stop paying congress so much money, we give them what they Really need to live for a year and make them come up with the rest on their own, it's not like they're working all day every day, they hardly even meet for half a year in two years time. That was based off info from a political science course I took.
You want to come up with money in hard times? Take it from the people who have more than they Need. Don't take it from those supporting your industries and economy.
15 idiots.
I vote we don't vote for them next time.
How about this.
We stop paying congress so much money, we give them what they Really need to live for a year and make them come up with the rest on their own, it's not like they're working all day every day, they hardly even meet for half a year in two years time. That was based off info from a political science course I took.
You want to come up with money in hard times? Take it from the people who have more than they Need. Don't take it from those supporting your industries and economy.
15 idiots.
I vote we don't vote for them next time.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Woot-Off Lights vs. Breville Blender from Woot Video on Vimeo.
I love woot
It's woot-er-ific
btw, this is from their new years eve-new years day woot-a-thon
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