Meanderings of a thoughtful mind

I'm often asked what kind of photography I enjoy the most, and then either asked if that's my favorite kind of photography to shoot, why my photography doesn't look like that, or it's just assumed that what I enjoy most from other people's work must be precisely what I enjoy most out of my own.

Oddly, or perhaps not oddly at all, what I most enjoy shooting and what I most enjoy viewing of other peoples work are two completely different types of photography.

There's something that draws me to the kind of photography I enjoy most. There's an artistic balance, despite on occasion there being an archaic colloboration of subject matter, there's a balance through the process and presentation that counters, amplifies, and speaks to the world in it's own very unique way. There may be a use of subject symetry, or chemical/development symetry, some times it's an asymetry of subject that's balanced by a asymetry in the process that proves the balance and delivers the piece to me as a viewer. Yes I have a great appreciation for evenly exposed prints, warm tones, smooth, pristine detail, and perfectly precise exposure and development.

The clutch in my own process though is driven less by my out-product from exposure through development and delivery as much as it's driven by the subtleties in the development and delivery. Small quirks in some processes deliver challenging visual cues in a photograph that are often hard to duplicate, but there's a sudden and permanent rush as one discovers a quirk, recreates it, learns it, and later is able to recreate it and manipulate it at will to create the desired process one desires.

My own meandering process began in my basic photography class in college. In high school I'd worked with a lesser knowledge in the processes of a classical photograph, between my high school photography classes and my yearbook classes (my senior year I was the photography editor and during my time my staff and I won several awards through our publisher in how we developed our yearbook as well as several individuals receiving awards themselves, I was fortunate enough to receive one in photography competing against 27 other schools), my basic photography course in college re-ignited that flame, re-couped to where I was at in high school, then I discovered an aspect in photography I hadn't delved in to before. My instructor though a classical photographer by heart was engaging enough to encourage me to develop and explore my skill in abstract photography and alternative processes, in time I would take more classes and devote more time and energy, and ultimately (what at the time was) a lot of money in to so many art projects I've many times over lost track of them in 4 years majoring in photography.

Other teachers explored printing techniques, some processes were very simple to master, others were very expensive to master. One such technique of the first was Salt Prints. For me they were simple, consistent and one of the easiest alternative forms of printing I've ever experienced. My entire final project one class was in that form, it had 8 images, I used 9 prints to get those 8 images. Sadly a fellow student went through dozens of pages of paper only to be happy with 2-3 images, using the same process. She couldn't discover what she'd done wrong, why the process wouldn't work. It was simple. I had watched as she'd applied her immulsion to the empty paper, it was shoddy at best, had no rythm, and she was inconsistent in her application. Later she didn't let it dry properly, until someone mentioned she really needed to if she wanted it to work properly. Lastly her printing had no consistency, she computed her math for exposure all wrong, not just on her prints but on printing her negatives (we were using digital prints, she provided no contrast screen on her prints which caused them to be dull, combined with underexposing she had very light and dull images) as well. Sadly even her development was all wrong, she kept no timer, gave no consideration for the process ensuing and made the images "develop" in the time frame she dictated rather than dictating her schedule revolve around the time frame the images needed in their development processes.

My happiest time printing was when I had taken notes wrong on a process, completely did the project wrong that we'd been assigned, but in my arrogant pride kept trying to get a print to work I'd been fighting with for days. Ultimately before the project was due I had succeeded with developing a new process in displaying imagery, creating a new medium with which to display photographs, allowing images, lighting and form to combine to create new forms of art in their own category. Oddly, the process allows images to also become sculpture, and when used properly sculpture becomes an additional attribute of the photography rather than photography being on a sculpture as an attribute of the sculpture.

Yes, it's true. There's no small difference in what I like viewing in other peoples work as opposed to what I like creating myself. Ultimately, I'm convinced knowing what kind of photography I enjoy admiring frees me to create my own artwork in other realms of the broad expanse that photography has become. My only admonition to you, is to find out why you like certain artworks, what about them makes them unique to your taste in art, and learn how to define it. I am convinced understanding why you like something allows you to understand more of the innerworkings of your own self, and only by knowing yourself can you appreciate who you are, and who you want to become.

Meandering thoughts

Looking back over the past few years I would expect to have regrets with seeing how things have panned out and being able to visualize how things could have panned out differently. At this moment I can't see or feel out any regrets. Perhaps one would to have dropped out of college a term earlier than I did, then instead of calling it dropping out I could just say "I graduated with my associates and realized I was getting the jerk around from the school and should continue on with another place of education or employment" rather than saying "I graduated and a term afterwards realized I was being jerked around and unofficially withdrew from college because they had an underdeveloped program and wouldn't work with the students in the ways they needed to and didn't have the faculty to properly support the program they were trying to run".

I don't think it's entirely their fault, from the Dean level there are issues in the Art department at UVU, the school dean at the time was an Interim, most interims as I've found have a tendency to not "push" issues, faulty, or students, in any particular direction as they don't have the full "title" or responsibility (and possibly permission) to do so, to top that our department had an Interim dean as well, so the University dean and the College of fine arts Deans were both interims. Not good. Now, after 4 or 5 years without, they've picked up a full-time dean for the College of fine arts. With any luck they'll have two full time faculty members in the photography department in the next ten years and within twenty they'll have a properly developed program. Assuming it grows, and assuming they put the time, money and effort in to it that it requires to have such a program properly develop. Is it challenging? Yes. Would it be worth it? They could blow BYU out of the water, if they only tweaked a few things here and there. If only.

Joining the Navy. It brought no small controversy, not to mention no small amount of dramatic irony, in that someone from Utah (two states inland, as such completely land-locked) would join the Navy. It's been good to me. I've had (aside from "A" school) good LCPO's and LPO's. It's been an enjoyable venture. We've had the opportunity to move to California, I've been treated to Amphib warfare and Amphib life, and I work at a command I really enjoy being at, one that allows me to develop myself and provides an environment where people can excel. I'll soon have the opportunity to deploy, and in under a year and a half I've been to 2 "C" schools and been promoted once. Half of the people in my bootcamp division came in as E1, it's 9 months for them to make E2, then another 9 months to make E3. I came in as an E3, getting paid as an E3, getting proper BAH, and seperation pay. I missed my opportunity the first time around to take the E4 exam by 2 days because of a hiccup in being able to graduate "A" school in time. I made the E4 exam in the fall afterwards though, I did fairly well on the exam and as such advanced (I was hopeful to advance but unsure if I really would have the knowledge base required to do so). Albeit I'm not being paid for the advancement yet, I will be in a couple short months, it's very relieving. I'm ranked enough to start having responsibility, with people looking to me for advice and direction while at the same time being expected to work hard and learn, it's a dynamic environment to be in and to be part of.

Now we're looking at buying a home. We got pre-approved, went searching, fell in love, fell out of love, fell back in love (with a home, or set of homes, using the term "home" loosely as it includes also "condos"), gave up on searching, went back to searching, knelt down and realized the one we'd fallen in love with in the first place was the right one to begin with. Now we've not only put an offer on the table but had it accepted on the first try, no counter-offer or counter-counter-offer, and we're on to the part of securing the official loan and all of the joys it entails. Soon, yes, very soon we'll have our own little private location that will with any luck become an investment into our future, and a place we can begin our family. There are still kinks being worked out in the process, but with any luck it will be shortly secured, and all bumps ironed out.

Will there be speed bumps and detours in our road in the future both near and far? Of course, why wouldn't there be? Are some of them going to blind-side us? Hopefully not terribly, but it wouldn't be the first time we've been blind-sided by something in the 3 years we've been married. On our way to the wedding a deer got onto the road running along side us and bumped it's chest into the car I was driving, a year after we'd been married Erin was diagnosed with a prolactinoma which has been a rollercoaster all of its own with it's own special twists and turns. Is this all part of life and the beauty of living and making decisions and living with consequences? Yes.